Saturday, April 4, 2009

Random Mewsing #1 - ONEIDA’S SPA EXPERIENCE

The following story was written based on a "random prompt" that was generated on the web site I found.

The prompt was:

"Write from the point of view of a spoon in the dishwasher".



ONEIDA’S SPA EXPERIENCE

Looking around at her surroundings, with her round face turned upwards, Oneida was trying to get her bearings and figure out how she got here. The last thing she remembered, she was dancing, twirling around and around, warm and silky smoothness caressing her slender form.

What had brought her here? It was dark, and quite a dank odor permeated the air. She looked to see if there were any familiar faces here. Looking down a ways, she noticed a few others, probably relatives, since they bore a faint resemblance to her and her family. Maybe distant cousins, yes, that was it, they were at a wedding and all the relatives were there, even the ones that only go out to the really big events. Usually it’s just her and her sisters and a few others at a small event.

But they weren’t saying anything, just standing there, as if lost in thought. She tried to get their attention, but either they chose to ignore her, or didn’t even see her. There did seem to be a haze in the air, like a fog or light mist. Perhaps the weather was changing.

Her gaze moved around, seeing other types that were familiar, but they too didn’t seem to take notice of her presence. They looked as if they were in a battle of some sort, covered in debris and probably what the source of the odor was. The floral décor of their apparel was stained with what appeared to be spaghetti sauce, and there were bits of pasta hanging off the delicate lacy pattern on their extremities. Their round shapes were accentuated by the swirl of the sauce that seemed to cover them in an effort to create a type of disguise, perhaps they were embarrassed by the design that was chosen for their garb. Or perhaps they were trying to hide behind a mask of sorts so that she wouldn’t see them. They always gave the impression of being intimidated by her, since she was so slender and they were, well, round. They could sure dish it out, but couldn’t handle being cut down.

Suddenly, there was some movement to Oneida’s right. She turned, and noticed that there was a very sharp looking fellow giving her the eye. He was tall and slender, and very slick. Oneida recognized him as the one she spent most of the early part of the evening next to, and they had quite a good time. He had a very sharp wit, but was capable of casting a cutting remark if the occasion warranted it. There was another one right next to him, obviously a punk rocker, considering the spiked coiffure on the top of the skinny minny frame. He looked like he wanted to just poke someone’s eyes out; he seemed to have a very combative attitude and would stick it to anyone who got in his way. Oneida was wishing she could have been moved down a few rows, closer to her cousins. But alas, that didn’t seem to be happening.

Looking around to take in the entire scene, Oneida noticed that there was an upper level that also had some of the others that she recalled seeing at the party earlier that evening. She tried to get someone’s attention, anyone, to help her move away from the cutting insults that the sharp looking fellow was hurling at the punk rocker, but nobody seemed to give her any notice.

Along one side of the upper deck, she saw the Crystals, and they were standing on their heads! How odd, but then she could always see through them and presumed that they did this just to draw attention to themselves. They were the type that had to be wined and dined and then would only sing if you stroked them just right. They really disliked when the sharp looking dude would whack them on the head, and let out very shrill cries, which for some reason was done continually at the party that evening. Oneida was sure they needed some peace and quiet, so she decided not to pursue getting their attention.

The other side of the upper deck had the China ladies, also standing on their heads, but then they were probably just meditating or something. Although they continually dripped on the lower deck, Oneida was fortunate enough to not be in their line of fire.

The rest of her observations presented more of the round ones and a few more sharp looking dudes and punkers. She thought to herself that there must be a concert in town, or they were uninvited guests who crashed the party. They sure didn’t look like her family. Well, maybe there was a slight resemblance, because they all seemed to have the same type of sleeves, puffy with raised flowers and lots of curly ribbon designs. Maybe it was a uniform, who knows. Is it possible that she was from a family of service workers? That sure seemed to be a pattern in this scenario.

So far it had been quite peaceful, seemed all the others were asleep, and she decided to just relax and try to get some rest herself.

Suddenly, their was a faint creak, then a stream of light charged in, practically blinding her as it reflected off the sharp looking dude’s slick attire. What looked to be a large container was held over the now open door, and a thick, creamy solution was pouring out of it. The door was once again closed, and there was a distinct “click” as it was secured. Great, there was no escaping now she thought, that was a lock!

“ ---pssssttttt—hissssssssssssssssssss”

Oh how comforting…nice warm water sprayed out and enveloped Oneida in a sweet scented cloud of peace and serenity. She was enjoying this shower that was helping her relax and decided to just enjoy the moment.

“whirrrrrrrrrr---whirrrrrrrrrrrrr—“

Oh dear, now what? The water suddenly became very explosive and was shooting everywhere. She felt the bubbles drape over her and run down her face and slender frame. The others around her appeared to be having convulsions of some type, twitching and sliding back and forth in their compartments. Was this some sort of amusement park ride, or were they in an earthquake? She was so stunned; she didn’t know what to do. Then, as soon as it started, it stopped. Again she heard

“---pssssttttt---hissssssssss”

and was showered in warm water again, rinsing away the bubbles from the last attack. After the water stopped, it got quiet again. Oneida was very relaxed from this “spa” experience. The air no longer had that dank odor, and from what she could see after her eyes adjusted to the darkness, the others looked as if they had the same treatment. The rounds were nice and clean and their beautiful floral attire was sparkling like new. Even the sharp looking dude and the punker looked better. Her cousins were all standing up nice and straight, glowing in the soft warm light from the curly bars under the floor. It was nice and warm, very soothing and relaxing, and they all settled in for the night, content with their experience.

The next morning, when everyone had had a very restful night, they were startled awake by a rude opening of a door, and a blast of bright light invading their serenity. Each of them were dragged from their comfortable spots and shoved into a wooden box between columns of velvet. The sharp looking dudes were put in their own sections, right above Oneida and the others. She felt vulnerable, knowing they were just inches from her and right on top! Oh well, nothing she could do about it. The round ones had their own special places, but at least they had protection between them, soft round cloth that kept the others from touching them. Same with the Crystals and the China ladies. Why did they get the added cushioning and protection and not her group? Oneida and those like her, with the slender frames and puffy sleeves were just stacked on top of each other, with no protection between.

But she just realized, noticing her position in the crowd, that she probably lost her innocence without even knowing it because she was SPOONED on both sides!

One thing Oneida had to find out was where that Maytag Spa was and how she could get back there!


Karen M. Frank
3/27/09

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